Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
