idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
