No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
