I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
