Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
