Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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