So drunk its hurt
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
they're like a gay fantastic four
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
