are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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