I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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