oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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