He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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