I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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