I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This house was built for laser tag.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
