I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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