You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
