the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
