My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
