need another drink. this is the easiest way
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
