i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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