i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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