OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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