I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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