I bet he comes in French.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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