wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
