Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
