the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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