What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
