i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He told me they were just razor bumps!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
