Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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