her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
