loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
