All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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