You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
