Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
