I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
