I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
