I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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