cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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