I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
