We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
