Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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