There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
