So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
