I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
