he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
