I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
