Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
