i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
