after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
