I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
