glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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