I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
