I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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