it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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