I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize