then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
