Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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