is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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