She said her name was "party"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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