At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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