People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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