I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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