Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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