Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
