There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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