i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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