Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
