Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
