No awkward lesbian experiences without me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
