And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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