my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
