Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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