i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
