Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
