Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
