So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
