Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize