He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
