Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
