I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
