hotel room ftw
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize