he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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