I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
