used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
