I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
