Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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