If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
