We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
